Torn Edges
by chaoticcyanide
Summary: The edges are torn [Casey Centric]


_**Torn Edges**_

_Rating: PG-13_

_Casey centric_

_Summery: -Pictures fade, edges tare and people die, but why does it hurt too much to admit that he is really gone?_

_Pairings: __**None**_

_I do not own Life With Derek._

_Family_

_March 1__st__, 2007_

_2:00 AM_

The definition of family is two parents or even one parent with a kid or two, with aunts and uncles and cousins, as well as grandparents. People also define friends as apart of their family when they're close enough too-Em and I maybe close, but perhaps, not close enough to be called sisters, though people would think we are.

My family is an odd one, let's see, there's George, my step dad, he's really nice and makes my mom happy and I am glad he treats us right, because if he didn't my mom probably wouldn't have married him. Then there is my mom, Nora, she is the best mother anyone could ask for, she listens to me when I am having troubles at school, she is very supportive of all of us and most of all, she is really strong. She has been my idol ever since I was a little girl, how she managed to get through life after she and Dad divorced, I will never know.

There is my little sister, Lizzie, she is such a tomboy, she loves sports and hanging around with people who have the same interest, she has gone through the popularity rank quickly, but she is not interested in stereotypes, just so long as she has a few good friends and has a good day at school. She and my little step brother get along so well, I almost _envy _them. Edwin, my younger, step brother, is your typical adolescent boy, where he finds sick things funny and where he is interested in girls, but he still thinks they have cooties, it's funny too see him admire Derek for everything he does.

And then there's Derek.

You're probably wondering why I am talking about my family now, after a year since Mom got married. I guess it's because the topic has been running through my mind since that incident just a few weeks ago, so I decided to write about it now, when it's more crucial. I would describe Derek, but there are so many words I can describe him with, that it would take up all of your pages and I just started you, a new one.

I love my family—not matter how insane they are or how embarrassing they are, especially after the incident. I guess I just can't stand the fact that Derek is now gone, elsewhere and that he's happy where he's at. I just can't accept that, it's too quiet in this house now, well, not because its early morning and I can't sleep, but because I don't hear his loud music anymore or see him around much.

My desk is a mess, and I can barely find my homework anymore, I don't mean to change the subject, but I am getting depressed by talking—er…writing about it—even though my psychiatrist says it's good that I'm talking about it, and I have also been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder for the fact I need everything nice and clean, but I don't think I have that, perhaps I'm boarder lining on depression or at least, I think I am.

Life has become so hopeless for me, I don't know why I continue on, Lizzie, George, Edwin and Mom seem to be able to go on without any problems, Emily is just as depressed as I am, but she says that someday soon, she'll be able to get over what he did, but for now, she will dwell on many of the good times they had together.

I still want to know why he did what he did, he never wrote a note, never said a word. He only asked me, _that day, _if I would like to go to the movies with him and I thought it was a joke, but I decided to go anyways.

All he said, after the movie was, "I'm sorry."

I wanted to know what he was sorry for, but he didn't answer me and we went home in utter silence. Earlier that week, he had asked Emily on a date and she instantly screamed in excitement, almost receiving a detention for it too, the thought still made me laugh, but I was suspicious of his odd behavior. He was being _way to nice_ to everyone, but kept claiming that what he was going to do at the end of the week is what he deserves.

_I should have seen it coming._

I should have known he would have done that and I could have stopped him.

And now, I want to know why, Derek, why did you do it?

_Why did you take your own life?_

The picture is faded, but I still see you there, the camera is busted, but the video is still playing, it's still playing over and over again. _Your bloody body on the floor, staining the carpet…your __**body**__, you were dead._

Mom mortified, George shocked…Lizzie started to cry, Marti had no idea what was going on.

Oh, God…Marti…naïve, innocent Marti had to _see your dead body, with the pistol in your limp hand. _

Derek,

I miss you.

I always will miss you. You were different then anyone, after making a mistake, you redeemed yourself.

But why is it so hard to admit that you're dead?

That you will never…

…return?

-Casey Venturi-McDonald

--

_Hey all, forgive me for writing something so sad, but it was playing in my head for a while. Anyways, please, review._

_Until next time._


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